Expectations

I know some of you know but for the others, we decided that it's time to start trying for another baby. Great news, I know! I love babies, but the months of November and December are so full of birthdays, holidays and anniversaries that we didn't want to add another to the list. So, we decided that we would try to get preggo in January and if that didn't work then we would wait until May to start trying again.

Now I don't want to give tmi, but I was really sure I wasn't pregnant, but the days ticked by and still no 'lady days'. I told a friend of mine that Aunt Flow still hadn't made a visit and she pretty much insisted that I was pregnant, so that night I asked Ryan to stop and get a test for me, he was brave and did.

I took the test while he was walking out to get the mail, mostly cause I didn't want him hanging around all nervous to see the results. No, he isn't that bad, I was just impatient to see if I was or if my cycle was off like crazy (I was seriously leaning towards my cycle being off, we've never gotten pregnant on the first try!). And honestly? (I know this IS tmi but here ya go) we haven't been using any sort of birth control for about a year.

After peeing on the stick it took about 5 seconds for it to tell me that I am indeed pregnant. I was phyced, I stood by the front door waiting for Ryan to come in so I could tell him. We kissed, we hugged I squealed like a school girl and then told him 'thanks for the baby'. I am so happy to be having another baby. It's going to be our last, I'm not sure how I feel about that (I am only 24). But hopefully by the end of this I'll know for certain.

You all are invited on this journey with me and even if you don't want to hear about it you probably will anyways. Sorry about that.

With every pregnancy I've had, in short I've gotten what I wanted.

With my first, I wanted a girl, probably becuase I am a girl and also becuase I didn't want her Bio dad being more attached, which he would have been if I had a boy. Also, I was about 8 months preggo with her when the movie Monsters Inc. came out. When Boo stepped onto the screen and I saw her I said to myself 'awe, I want a baby that looks like that!' and, she does. We call her Bugga Boo.

My second, I wanted another girl, Ryan and I had been married for 2 months when we got pregnant and we were still adjusting to Emma and I having him in our lives and the changes of roles. I again, was worried that if I had a boy Ryan would love and favor him far more then he would Emma, so I asked for a girl, with blue eyes (cause I love Ryan's eyes). And again, got what I wanted!

My third, of course I wanted a boy, when asking the man upstairs I wasn't specific about looks, I just wanted a boy and after trying to nurse Kaylyn (who had the smallest mouth) I asked that the baby have a big mouth so I could nurse without so much pain. He does have a big mouth, but to make him look normal I think Father decided to make the rest of him big too. He'll be 2 in May and he's fitting into 3T clothes perfectly.

And my fourth, this is my predicament, I don't know what I want. I'm so smitten with Daniel that part of me is ok if I have another girl, but then the other side is saying I should want a boy so daniel has someone else to play rough with... I'm kinda at a loss. Although, this time, I think I'm going to let it be up to the Almighty (not that it wasn't before, but I won't put in any requests). Just let him take care of it and go from there.

I'm so lucky to have my family, we're so blessed! And, I LOVE BABIES!!!

Oh, P.S. I'm only 5 and a half weeks along!