Saturday, October 23, 2010

Hit and Miss

So, we were supposed to go in to be induced on Friday, but before that I was going to get a Foley catheter in (more info on that here) Thursday night, so I would be ready to go in the morning. After the midwife tried four times to get the thing in, and after much pain, it was determined that my uterus really didn't want to cooperate with us. She told me to hold tight and that she would talk to the midwife that would be on call while I was being induced to see what they could do. After talking with her she gave me a few options. 1: I could be admitted that night and they would start me on Cyotec then in the morning they would start some Pitocin. or 2: I could go home and wait to go into labor on my own. Because Ryan only has a week before he's supposed to leave for two weeks again, I went with being admitted that night.
After three doses of Cyotec and being on monitors for two hours, then off for two, they started me on Pitocin at 8 in the morning. At noon they checked me and I was still dilated to a 1. My midwife told me at that time that if I wasn't dilated to a 4 by 5pm she thought it would be wise to send us home and try again another day. I tried so hard to get myself into positions that would put the most pressure on my cervix while I was contracting, but, I didn't do so well.
At 5pm the midwife came in and checked me again and still, I was only at a 1!! So we came home.

Now, for the emotional aspect of this adventure...

I was crying after the midwife and nurse left from telling us it would be best to go home. I was so tired of having monitors on me and sore from being poked four times to get the stinking IV in and not to mention the contractions and I hadn't had solid good since 8 that morning. Over all we were tired and half of me was glad to be going home. The other half? Kinda feels like a failure. I kept apologizing to Ryan, I still feel like it's my fault it didn't work. Ryan was awesome about it, he kept reassuring me and when we got home he made sure I went and laid down to sleep then took care of Daniel (the girls wanted to stay another night at Nana's). I have an amazing husband. On the way out to the car I couldn't help feel a little angry that one of the carriers in the back of the van wasn't holding a baby and that the car seat stayed empty on the way home.
BUT, to top it off, my house was clean when I got home! It was a mess when we left it, no joke, it was bad. I had tried to do some cleaning but didn't get nearly enough done that I wanted. I wish I knew who cleaned it, so I could buy them something - I mean, pretend to bake them something- to say thank you. Coming home to that made my day better, and at the same time, I felt bad again, cause we came home without a newborn.

We will be going in again on Tuesday to be induced, Monday evening I will be going in to my midwives to try to get another Foley catheter in (I pray it works). That's if she doesn't decide to come over the weekend. I honest to goodness hope that she's ready by Tuesday, if she's not, and we have another failed induction then Ryan will be calling his boss to see if he can stay home another week to help with the baby. If he can't, then I might be having this baby with the support of my mom by my bedside rather then my husband. :/

Hopefully everything works out just the way I want it to, really, that would make me so happy... Here's to hoping!

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